O6.19.O9

Disconnected.

More than anything today. I feel disconnected, and it's not because I failed to pay my phone bill. I feel like people who I call my friends, are really nothing more than acquaintances. I feel like the people who I confide in the most are no longer around. I mean, I can still talk to a few people, but I don't feel the "love" from certain people anymore. It's all apart of life right!? Moving on, changing environments, doing things on your own etc. Of course, but why does it feel like I've been X out a lot of peoples lives. So I missed a couple of Birthdays, I don't remember throwing a hissy fit when my "friends" didn't show up to my Birthday celebrations. I know, I know. Two wrongs don't make a right, but it's not like you wake up and intentionally forget a friends birthday. & most of the time, I do remember. I always seem to remember while I'm doing something important, so I say to myself. I'm going to call them, when I'm done, and it happens to slip my mind again.

Are we really throwing away 15 years of friendship, over not attending a birthday dinner. I called on her birthday, and I left a message. I mean it's not the greatest, but it's the thought that counts. I picked up the phone the moment I got back in town to wish her happy birthday. . . I mean I could be wrong about the whole thing. Maybe I'm over reading into the issue. I just don't feel like I have a genuine friend in most people anymore. It's kinda sad, but I'll get over it I suppose. Like I do about everything else.